Recognizing the Effort

Here’s a story I’ll be many of you can relate to. A parent of one of our preschoolers was talking about her child’s temperament at a parent meeting. She is a pretty ambitious, high energy, fun loving, results oriented person. Her son tends to be cautious, a bit slow to warm up, and somewhat introverted. This parent works hard at understanding who her son is and valuing his approach and personality even though they are very different from her own. But there come those times . . .

The child was learning to ride his bicycle. He practiced and practiced. Mom felt he had gained enough skill to take off and ride, but he was reluctant and continued to practice and practice. Finally he was ready and as he rode proudly around and around he looked at his mom and said, “Are you proud of me now?”

This little boy’s mother felt badly about trying to get to the final result faster than was comfortable for her child. At the end of the process she could see that the careful, methodical effort her child was applying to learning how to ride a bike and not taking off until he was fully ready for success was something of value. She could have told him earlier that she was really proud of all his careful practice.

Live and learn. That’s how our parenting improves over time. And this family has used the help of some folks who do a great job at analyzing children’s temperaments and helping parents learn how to work productively with their children’s temperaments. If you’d like a reference, just give me a call.